Filed under: AvBro Goes To The Movies
[With a toddler, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Thankfully this movie went straight-to-DVD, sparing me the indignity of blowing $40 or hanging out in the barbershop for a free view.]
I caught a pretty decent “urban” drama called Cover over the weekend. I’d usually use this forum to tell ya’ll about the movie, and why it was so good, but any review would be loaded with spoilers, so I’ll just let you peep the trailer and judge for yourself.
Straight-to-DVD movies are usually crappy, but don’t let the telltale signs of a bad flick (Exhibit A: Vivica Fox. Exhibit B: Paula Jai Parker.) throw you off.
This is a great “urban” drama/mystery thriller that I’d recommend all of you add to your Netflix queue. And since I don’t want any member of AverageNation™ inadvertently giving away the plot, I’m gonna close the comments.
Just take my word and rent the movie. You’ll enjoy it.
Final Verdict: It’s very possible that I’m giving this movie more credit than it deserves because I expected it to be terrible and was surprised that it didn’t. But all things considered, I think you’ll find this movie compelling enough to justify the cost of the rental. 3 Stars (Out of 5)
Watch More Clips from Cover [YouTube]
[You folks already know I don't get out much, let alone to the movies. Thankfully, fellow bloggers like my cyber-homegirl Thembi actually do see movies in the same year they're released. She caught the somewhat controversial Tropic Thunder last week. I'm livin' vicariously. Show some love you-know-where.]
Any movie featuring MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” before the basic plot has even been outlined is destined to be a problem, but mostly in a good way. Tropic Thunder was just that. Continuing the lowbrow and nonsensical brand of comedy that Ben Stiller has become well-known for, Tropic Thunder is a send-up of the Hollywood movie machine that strokes moviegoers’ pre-existing perception that everyone involved in the industry is ultimately ridiculous. The tasteless early trailers for Tropic Thunder caused a stir among black folks and disability groups thanks to the over-the-top “blackface” of Robert Downey Jr. and the repeated use of the word “retard” (which, FYI, is also now known as “the r-word”). I wish that troubling our sensibilities was the worst of Tropic Thunder; while it was laugh out loud funny at some spots, in the end it was just “ok.”
Tropic Thunder is best thought of as a movie within a movie. After a series of fake movie trailers introducing each of the characters, we’re brought to the set of the true-story action flick “Tropic Thunder,” billed as “the biggest war movie ever,” which is already extremely over-budget thanks to a group of vain, limelight-seeking actors and crew. I’m not a fan of real war movies (or war itself, for that matter), so from the start the jokes spoofing that genre may fall a little flat. As the plot progresses, however, the familiar ground of the Hollywood machinery taking itself too seriously occupies center stage. The real action begins when the actors end up in the jungles of Southeast Asia fighting off a real drug gang led by a little pre-teen scoop of lychee ice cream simply called “Tran”. By this point, the disabled, blacks, and Asians could easily be offended, but everyone else also gets theirs throughout the course of the film. There’s mockery and then there’s satire; the humor in Tropic Thunder, when taken properly in context, is clearly satire.
Ben Stiller’s obliviously retarded facial expressions and endearing disheveled Jewishness are so cute and funny to me that I’ve seen almost every other movie he’s made. He’s like a Buttered Popcorn Jellybean – so wrong that he’s right. In the ridiculousness department, Tropic Thunder picks up where Zoolander and Dodgeball left off, a feat that seems mainly thanks to Stiller’s cheekiness as fallen-from-grace action star Tugg Speedman. Robert Downey, Jr. gives an unexpectedly sophisticated performance as Australian character actor Kirk Lazarus, who himself spent the bulk of the movie immersed in the black character Sergeant Lincoln Osiris, saying “I don’t drop character ’til I’ve done the DVD commentary.” Once I realized that his “blackface,” was part of the plot and that role couldn’t have gone to a black actor, I thought that the portrayal was brilliant. Within thirty minutes I was irritated by Downey’s speech patterns, which were intentionally over-the-top depictions of rough Negrospeak. Within an hour, I was driven crazy by his protruding prosthetic lower lip, which reminded me of a butterflied breakfast sausage that had been burnt on the edges. I guess that’s just me being black and sensitive, but it was definitely a unfortunate buzzkill that threatened to make me start playing with my BlackBerry instead of following the action.
Jack Black is usually good for some laughs, but his depiction of drug-addicted fart-humorist Jack Portnoy was so lowbrow that it lacked awareness. Granted, there is nothing actually funny about coming down off of that her’on, but to engage in that kind of pre-rehab coonery with recovering addicts Robert Downey, Jr. and Nick Nolte on set? This sort of recurring self-awareness miss made the “biting the hand that feeds it” aspect of the satirization of Hollywood less than seamless. On the flipside, I was impressed and entertained by the fresh faces of Jay Baruchel and Brandon T. Jackson, the latter of which played “Alpa Chino,” a less-than-representin‘ rapper with his own energy drink, “Booty Sweat”. I’ve noticed that black actors rarely get that much of a career boost from appearing in this type of movie, but I’m hoping that Jackson can parlay the success of Tropic Thunder into more roles in the future. Otherwise, he’ll spend the rest of his career being “that black guy in Tropic Thunder“, because Lord knows he was the only one. A barely-recognizable Tom Cruise and redneck hottie Matthew McConaughey were added treats, and other cameos included Toby Maguire, Jon Voight, and Jason Bateman.
At times labored and immature but certainly welcomingly lowbrow, overall Tropic Thunder is a great way to pass the time and get some laughs, but I certainly won’t be picking up any zinger catch-phrases from this movie to repeat amongst my friendship group.
Final Verdict: The ticket was $9.00 and what Thembi would do (if she could) is ask for $3.50 back (3 of 5 stars). Sixty-percent is a great score considering about 80% of the laughs are in the first ten minutes and in the trailer, which you can check out below.
Question: Did you see Tropic Thunder? Was it worth the $40? What did you think of Downey Jr.’s blackface role?
Tropic Thunder Official Website
What Would Thembi Do? [BlogSpot]
Filed under: AvBro Goes To The Movies
[With an infant, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Now, Netflix is my best friend. So, I don't see things in a timely manner, but when I do, you get the best review in town right here.]
[Editor's Note: This weekend's weather in DC was a bit too hot, so I stayed in and caught up on some Netflix viewing. Here's a brief review of my triple matinee.]
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
Martin Lawrence’s career has been on the skids for some time now. Seriously, Black Knight? What’s The Worst That Could Happen? Did we really need Big Momma’s House II? He hasn’t done anything of value since Bad Boys II, and we all know that was actually a Will Smith movie. So, when Roscoe Jenkins hit theaters last Winter, I resisted because the reviews looked like more coonin’. I haven’t seen a trailer this bad since Friday After Next.
The movie centers around a Dr. Phill-ish talk show host named RJ Stevens (Lawrence, sporting the same haircut since 1992) whose agent recommends that he and his Survivor-winning fiancee (the always-captivating Joy Bryant) go to RJ’s family reunion in Georgia to film a reality show. The whole thing is about raising RJ’s Q-rating, and while he’s hesitant, his young son begs him into going so he can finally meet his grandparents. It seems RJ has gone completely Hollywood and hasn’t been home in nearly a decade.
The typical fish-outta-water stereotypes arise from the moment Roscoe arrives home. As somebody who grew up in the South and still loves it, I’m getting a big tired of these sorts of cliche’d black movies. Between Kingdom Come, The Fighting Temptations, Madea’s Family Reunion, and this crap, you’d think all black people below the Mason Dixon eat fried possums and drink outta mayonaise jars. There may be some truth to that, but come on. I’m beginning to think there’s some base level self-hatred in Black Hollywood (as it exists), because I know all these Negroes have grandmas in South Carolina.
Even worse, this has be to the most hate-filled and mean-spirited “comedy” I’ve ever wasted precious minutes of my life on. The way Roscoe’s family speaks to each other is filled with dysfunction and animus. Watching proud actors like James Earl Jones and Margaret Avery (Roscoe’s parents) reduced to dishing out such ignorance is bad enough. Adding on the comedic talents of Cedric The Entertainer, Mo’Nique, Michael Clarke Duncan (whose arms look frightening), and Mike Epps just pushes this baby over the cliff. I haven’t heard so many black women disrespected and called bitches since The Chronic. Who exactly thought this was a good idea?
R.I.P. Martin’s Career.
You (was) so crazy.
Final Verdict: Don’t even waste a spot in your Netflix queue for this crap. Peep the bootleg in the barbershop. Or wait for TBS. It’ll be there soon enough. 1 Star (out of 5)
The Bank Job
The more Jason Statham movies I watch, the more I wonder why this guy isn’t a Hollywood action hero megastar. I mean seriously, peep the resume.
The Transporter. The Transporter II. The Italian Job. Crank. War. Cellular. Collateral. The One. Snatch. Chaos.
Eff’ Ah-nold, this dude is The Last Action Hero.
The Bank Job is a hiest film (surprise), but with a bit more of a back story than your typical action caper. Based in 1970′s London, Statham plays a shady auto mechanic whose mistress presents him with a foolproof get-rich scheme to rob a bank’s safety deposit boxes of millions in cash and jewels. Cobbling together a ragtag bunch of specialists, the team goes about digging a 40 foot underground tunnel right into the bank vault.
The ancillary plot involves a black militant, corrupt cops, and politicians intent on keeping a royal family indiscretion secret. Somehow the plotlines all get confusingly intermingled, and in the end, you’re left to wonder who exactly can trust whom?
I wasn’t too crazy about the British accents initially, but you figure them out after awhile. There’s goo-gobs of sex and violence in this movie, so put the kids to bed first. But if you’re down for an action packed heist flick, I strongly recommend The Bank Job.
Final Verdict: Put this in your Netflix queue, like yesterday! 4 Stars (out of 5)
Cloverfield
I’m a horror movie junkie. Sci-fi? Not so much. So I didn’t really know how to size up Cloverfield, an apocolypic monster movie set in modern day Manhattan. It doesn’t matter how the movie is categorized, because the special effects are so off the charts, it’s hard not to like, regardless of genre.
Shot in handheld camera mode (think The Blair Witch Project meets Friends), Cloverfield (I still can’t figure out the significance of the title) centers around a bunch of twentysomething Manhattan hipsters at a going away party (thus the camera). And you guys know just how much I love twentysomething hipsters. But just when you’re ready to throw your BluRay player out the window, along comes the monster, and by golly, what a monster this thing is!!!
Wowzers!
The flick then switches to the twentysomething hipsters, as they try and rescue a friend, and escape the destructive wrath of the monster, with the tape rolling all along.
I’m usually not too crazy about any movie shot on a handheld (even for artistic purposes, because this is no cheap movie), and even I’ll admit that the results are sometimes dizzying. But the approach does add to the “what next?” fear factor, and since you’re only given fleeting images of the monster, it all magically works. In the end, Cloverfield is more unnerving than it actually is scary, but if that sounds like your thing, you’ll prolly like it either way.
Final Verdict: Rent it and watch it on a really big TV with the volume up high. 3 and 1/2 stars (Out of 5)
Question: Did you see any of these movies? What did you think? Is Martin’s career toast? Why isn’t Statham a bigger star? What does Cloverfield mean? Do you dislike twentysomething hipsters just as much as I do?
[With an infant, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Now, Netflix is my best friend. So, I don't see things in a timely manner, but when I do, you get the best review in town right here.]
There’s two reasons why I don’t go to the movies more often, and instead depend on Netflix months after the fact. First, and foremost if AverageToddler, who makes even sneaking up the street to a matinee an adventure my wife and I would rather not undertake. And second, but of equal importance is the fact that lots of movie just plain suck.
No actor embodies the “boom or bust” nature of major Hollywood releases more than Will Ferrell.
I dug Ferrell back in the days when SNL was still worth watching, so when he started slowly branching out and doing small parts in movies like Austin Powers, A Night At The Roxbury, and The Ladies Man, I knew it was only a matter of time before he started getting top billing. And while he’s made quite a few good movies like Old School, Anchorman, and… well, that’s about it, he’s had an equal number of downright stinkers like Elf, Bewitched, Kicking and Screaming, Talladega Nights, and the straw that broke the proverbial AverageBro’s back, Blades of Glory.
Blades of Glory was so awful, I kept waiting for Bokeem Woodbine[1] to skate out at any moment.
So when the basketball themed Semi Pro hit theaters a few months back, I resisted, despite being a hardcore hoops fan. Seriously, Anchorman was nearly a half-decade ago, and I don’t exactly have a spare $40 just laying around to blow on movies nowadays, not with $7 Kashi and whatnot. So, despite the deluge of commercials during every NBA game this Winter, I successfully fought the temptation to ruin a tankful of gas on what was certainly Ferrell’s latest bust. Heck, the movie was panned by critics and only grossed $33M, which made it Ferrell’s worst showing as a headliner yet.
But after finally catching this movie on Netflix this weekend, I gotta say, this is probably the best Will Ferrell movie yet. No, seriously. It’s that good.
Taking place in the mid-70′s, Semi Pro stars Ferrell as a washed up disco singer named Jackie Moon who parlayed the royalties from his platinum selling single “Love Me Sexy”[2] into the purchase of an ABA basketball team, called the Flint Tropics. Yeah, the Flint, Michigan Tropics. Not content merely owning the team, the pudgy Moon also serves as coach and starting power forward. To nobody’s surprise, the team sucks, and with the ABA’s upcoming merger with the NBA, the Tropics are set to be contracted. To save the franchise, Moon finds out he must not only start winning games, but actually get some fans in the seats to prove the team can draw. Hilarity ensues.
This probably doesn’t sound too funny, but neither did a movie about San Diego newscasters. And you know how that one turned out.
Ferrell plays his typical “thinks he’s cool but is completely oblivious to the fact that he isn’t” guy you’ve seen in a million movies before, but the camp factor here is so high that it all seems to work. Andre 3000 of Outkast does a credible job as the team’s star player, who changes names about a half-dozen times during the movie. Woody Harrelson is actually likeable as the player/coach who takes over for Moon and finally gets the team on track. Familiar faces like Andy Richter and Tim Meadows round out the cast.
Maybe it’s because I had lowered expectations, but this movie was hilarious to me. I literally laughed from the first 10 seconds (when “Love Me Sexy” was cued) to the closing credits. I mean, seriously, you know what kinda notorious hater I am, so if I liked it, you probably will too. The version I got on DVD didn’t have any extra features to speak of, but otherwise, I give this one a thumbs up.
I suspect this movie didn’t do better because of it’s basketball-themed plot. This movie takes place in the 70′s and will be a joy for basketball purists who know a little something about the NBA/ABA merger. But let’s face it, pro basketball isn’t the most popular of sports for many reasons, which is my guess why other sports themed duds like Kicking and Screaming (soccer), Talladega Nights (NASCAR), and Blades of Glory (ice skating) fared better at the box office. Or at least that’s my guess.
Either way, whether you like basketball or not, if you wanna catch a funny movie, give Semi Pro a rent.
Final Verdict: Throw this in your Netflix Queue now! 4 Stars (Out of 5)
[1] That man knows a thing or three about bad movies.
[2] Has anyone heard the remix of this with Lil’ Wayne? No, seriously.
Filed under: AvBro Goes To The Movies
[With a toddler, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Thankfully this movie went straight-to-DVD, sparing me the indignity of blowing $40 or hanging out in the barbershop for a free view.]
The whole “urban romantic drama” genre jumped the shark a few years back when awful movies like Breakin’ All The Rules and Brown Sugar finally proved that Black America was getting tired of watching Morris Chestnut and Gabrielle Union in every other movie. Since then, black comedy has shifted largely to church-centric coonfests a la Tyler Perry, rendering this old reliable formula of date night flicks obsolete.
Oddly enough, one of my favorite movies of this period actually did include Chesnut and Union, along with Vivica A. Fox and the always entertaining Anthony Anderson (who has since graduated to dramatic roles). 2001′s Two Can Play That Game was about a LA ad-exec named Shante Smith (Fox) who hatched a 10-point plan to get her philandering man (Chesnut) back in line. It obviously wasn’t Oscar material, but it was a tasteful movie with enough laughs to warrant repeat views when each time it airs on TNT, which is pretty frequently.
Peep one of my favorite scenes here. Sorry, but the language might not be safe for cubicle dwellers.
Anyways, while Anderson’s career has taken off, the same can’t be said for the movie’s other stars. Fox is best known for briefly dating 50 Cent and undergoing a series of horrifying plastic surgeries. Chesnut tried to drop his prettyboy image and become a villain/bad guy in awful movies like Half Past Dead, failed miserably, and ended up doing chitin’ circuit plays. Union still works, but is perhaps most notable for (allegedly) having ruined the marriage of NBA player Dwyane Wade.
So, when I heard there was a sequel, the aptly titled Three Can Play That Game, I figured it wouldn’t be much of a problem getting the band back together. It’s not exactly like they’ve got much better things to do. But of course, this being Hollywood and all, only Fox shows up for Three Can Play, and in a greatly reduced role. Oh, and the movie never even made it to theaters, instead heading to the celluloid graveyard of Straight-To-DVD releases. Losing an original’s main star (Anderson) and skipping theaters is usually a surefire recipe for disaster, but Three Can Play is a pleasantly good movie that deserves consideration for your next weekend Netflix queue.
Three Can Play follows Shante, who has ditched the corporate hustle and moved to Atlanta to start her own “relationship consulting firm” where she essentially teaches her “keep him in line” tactics to women for an exorbitant fee. When Tiffany (Ice Cube’s wife in Barbershop) catches her man Byron (Eve’s boyfriend from Eve) in the throes of passion with his new boss (the wife from The Bernie Mac Show) Carla, she hires Shante to help her whip Bryon into shape and towards the altar. But Bryon’s best friend (Tony Rock, Chris’ younger brother from All Of Us) Gizzard adopts the Anthony Anderson role, advising Byron with counters to all of Shante’s moves. In the end, will Byron choose his Apprentice-like career or love and happiness with Tiffany?
You’re probably not enthused with the review thus far, but trust me, this movie’s worth the rental, even if you never saw the original. Unlike today’s Madea-fests, this movie is a reasonably intelligent romantic comedy about why some men won’t commit and the lengths some women will go to to drag them down the aisle. Fox is pretty likable, which can’t be said for most of her recent movies. The UPN/WB-All Stars supporting cast is a collection of folks whose faces you know with names you don’t, but somehow the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. I don’t know if that analogy made any sense, but just take my word for it. Notorious hater that I am, if I say a movie’s a good mindless way of blowing an evening at home, just trust me and do it.
Three Can Play That Game somewhat dispels the notion that sequels, especially those that go Straight To Blockbuster can’t be just as entertaining (if not better) as the movies that proceeded them. It’s a smart comedy with a storybook ending that deserves your $4. Throw it in your Netflix cue and enjoy.
Final Verdict: It’s very possible that I’m giving this movie more credit than it deserves because I expected it to suck royally and was surprised that it didn’t. Still, there’s something to be said for a black comedy that you can watch without cringing or having What’s Happenin’ Now? and 227 flashbacks. Put it in your Netflix queue already. 3 Stars (Out of 5)
Three Can Play That Game [imdb]
Filed under: AvBro Goes To The Movies
[With a toddler, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Now, Netflix is my best friend. So, I don't see things in a timely manner, but when I do, you get the best review in town right here.]
Okay, he got me this time.
Silly of me to think that after turning a corner with a string of semi-decent movies like Daddy’s Little Girls and Why Did I Get Married?, Tyler Perry would keep the streak alive with his latest offering, Meet The Browns. I’ve been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray, run amok, and I have nobody to blame but myself.
When I saw this trailer, I shoulda known better.
All the elements of a truly bad black movie were right there, but did I listen to my Inner Negro? Nooooo.
I remember seeing some of the stage play that this movie is based loosely on when my relatives bought the bootleg from Detroit a few summers back. It was so godawful I had to leave the house. If only movies came with some kinda money back guarantee. Then I coulda just left the theater on G.P.
The plot, which seems cribbed from about 20 different episodes of Good Times, features Angela Bassett as Brenda, a Chicago single mom of 3 kids by 3 different dads, none of whom is present. Rather than trying to make some statement of how bad this woman’s choices are, the flick delves right into the typical “Triflin’ Nigga/BabyDaddy with a family on the other side of town” angle to make you feel somehow bad for Brenda, who can’t keep the lights on when she loses her factory job, yet always seems to have a fresh hairdo and tight gear. Brenda finds out her father (whom, surprise, she’s never met before) died in Georgia, and packs up her clan to go down South to the funeral. There she meets a gaggle of long-lost and unknown relatives, and finds herself and her hoops prodigy son courted by a seedy coach played by ex-NBA Baller and Mr. Vanessa Williams, Rick Fox.
Sorry, I can’t even write this review with a straight face, just like I couldn’t manage to watch this lazily manufactured “drama” without laughing uncontrollable at times. Reality is, I couldn’t help but watch this cluster and think about just how badly Angela Bassett’s career has careened out of control. Here’s a woman that deserved an Academy Award for What’s Love Got To Do With It?, reduced to Loretta Devine status, and her “mail it in” performance shows she clearly just wanted some pocket money. The dialogue in this movie, even during the rare serious parts is so hackneyed a 3rd grader could have written it. The clichés (teenage son who does poorly in school, plays basketball, deals drugs, and is the man of the house; the saucy and stereotypically oversexed Latina best friend; the stumbling bumbling non-talking Southern patriarch, the all-knowing “Big Mama”) are piled on heavy. You can sniff out the formulaic storybook ending while the popcorn’s still warm.
I expected James Evans, Penny, and Bookman to pop up at any moment.
Since I’m somewhat on topic, how about I get this one off my chest… what’s with the horrible depictions of black men in every one of Tyler Perry’s movies? Okay, we get it Tyler, all black men are cheating, lying, child support dodging canines who secretly covet white women. We get it, we get it, we get it already! Black men ain’t sh*t! Okay, message delivered! But do you have to rub this in our faces during every damn movie? If I wanted to be insulted, I could just save the $40 and watch Fox News for a few hours.
And is it just me, or does anyone else notice that the only unflawed black males characters in all Tyler Perry movies are played by… guess who… wait for it… Tyler Perry? Hmmmmmm. I smell a Grand Hu$tle here.
In short, this movie was sooo bad on sooo many levels, and I guess it proves either of two things:
A) I’m just too smart for this kinda dumb movie.
or
B) AverageSis is right, I can’t just “be in the moment” and enjoy something for what it is.
If you saw Meet the Browns, you tell me which one’s the right answer.
If you didn’t see Meet The Browns, please wait for Netflix. If you just wanna burn $20 that badly, buy an AB.com t-shirt.
Final Verdict: If your neighbor has the bootleg, borrow it. If you’ve gotta see it, at least go to the matinee. Then again, if you watched the trailer and liked it, go see it, because while I thought the movie sucked, the rest of the theater seemed to enjoy it. Maybe it’s just me. 2 Stars (Out of 5)
Tyler Perry’s Meet The Browns [Yahoo! Movies]
Filed under: AvBro Goes To The Movies
[With a toddler, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Now, Netflix is my best friend. So, I don't see things in a timely manner, but when I do, you get the best review in town right here.]
Okay, he got me this time.
Silly of me to think that after turning a corner with a string of semi-decent movies like Daddy’s Little Girls and Why Did I Get Married?, Tyler Perry would keep the streak alive with his latest offering, Meet The Browns. I’ve been hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray, run amok, and I have nobody to blame but myself.
When I saw this trailer, I shoulda known better.
All the elements of a truly bad black movie were right there, but did I listen to my Inner Negro? Nooooo.
I remember seeing some of the stage play that this movie is based loosely on when my relatives bought the bootleg from Detroit a few summers back. It was so godawful I had to leave the house. If only movies came with some kinda money back guarantee. Then I coulda just left the theater on G.P.
The plot, which seems cribbed from about 20 different episodes of Good Times, features Angela Bassett as Brenda, a Chicago single mom of 3 kids by 3 different dads, none of whom is present. Rather than trying to make some statement of how bad this woman’s choices are, the flick delves right into the typical “Triflin’ Nigga/BabyDaddy with a family on the other side of town” angle to make you feel somehow bad for Brenda, who can’t keep the lights on when she loses her factory job, yet always seems to have a fresh hairdo and tight gear. Brenda finds out her father (whom, surprise, she’s never met before) died in Georgia, and packs up her clan to go down South to the funeral. There she meets a gaggle of long-lost and unknown relatives, and finds herself and her hoops prodigy son courted by a seedy coach played by ex-NBA Baller and Mr. Vanessa Williams, Rick Fox.
Sorry, I can’t even write this review with a straight face, just like I couldn’t manage to watch this lazily manufactured “drama” without laughing uncontrollable at times. Reality is, I couldn’t help but watch this cluster and think about just how badly Angela Bassett’s career has careened out of control. Here’s a woman that deserved an Academy Award for What’s Love Got To Do With It?, reduced to Loretta Devine status, and her “mail it in” performance shows she clearly just wanted some pocket money. The dialogue in this movie, even during the rare serious parts is so hackneyed a 3rd grader could have written it. The clichés (teenage son who does poorly in school, plays basketball, deals drugs, and is the man of the house; the saucy and stereotypically oversexed Latina best friend; the stumbling bumbling non-talking Southern patriarch, the all-knowing “Big Mama”) are piled on heavy. You can sniff out the formulaic storybook ending while the popcorn’s still warm.
I expected James Evans, Penny, and Bookman to pop up at any moment.
Since I’m somewhat on topic, how about I get this one off my chest… what’s with the horrible depictions of black men in every one of Tyler Perry’s movies? Okay, we get it Tyler, all black men are cheating, lying, child support dodging canines who secretly covet white women. We get it, we get it, we get it already! Black men ain’t sh*t! Okay, message delivered! But do you have to rub this in our faces during every damn movie? If I wanted to be insulted, I could just save the $40 and watch Fox News for a few hours.
And is it just me, or does anyone else notice that the only unflawed black males characters in all Tyler Perry movies are played by… guess who… wait for it… Tyler Perry? Hmmmmmm. I smell a Grand Hu$tle here.
In short, this movie was sooo bad on sooo many levels, and I guess it proves either of two things:
A) I’m just too smart for this kinda dumb movie.
or
B) AverageSis is right, I can’t just “be in the moment” and enjoy something for what it is.
If you saw Meet the Browns, you tell me which one’s the right answer.
If you didn’t see Meet The Browns, please wait for Netflix. If you just wanna burn $20 that badly, buy an AB.com t-shirt.
Final Verdict: If your neighbor has the bootleg, borrow it. If you’ve gotta see it, at least go to the matinee. Then again, if you watched the trailer and liked it, go see it, because while I thought the movie sucked, the rest of the theater seemed to enjoy it. Maybe it’s just me. 2 Stars (Out of 5)
Tyler Perry’s Meet The Browns [Yahoo! Movies]
Filed under: AvBro Goes To The Movies
[With a toddler, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Now, Netflix is my best friend. So, I don't see things in a timely manner, but when I do, you get the best review in town right here.]
If you’ve been anywhere around the web over the past year, chances are you’ve seen a clip or twelve from the documentary What Black Men Think. After much searching, I finally got ahold of a copy, and I’m happy to report that the documentary lives up to it’s considerable advance billing.
The flick starts off on an ominous note by rolling out a cast of “experts” I’m not necessarily very fond of. Conservative talking heads like Armstrong Williams, Shelby Steele, Joseph C. Phillips, Jesse Lee Peterson, and Michael Steele are intermixed with a gaggle of everyday dudes, including director Janks Morton, who provides Michael Moore-ish narration throughout.
The documentary then dives headfirst into debunking some commonly held stereotypes about black men, by providing some historical reference to attempt to explain why we’re in our current state. Morton deftly rolls out stat after stat about black male incarceration, college enrollment, causes of death, annual salaries, the down-low brother phenomenon, and even interracial marriages, then tells a deeper story behind the numbers. By intermixing man-on-the-street interviews with expert analysis, the movie goes a long way towards dispelling some very harmful misconceptions about the state of Black men in America, while not coming off as apologist. And in doing so, it inadvertently pulls off an amazing feat: it makes guys like Steele, Peterson, and Williams human, likeable even. That’s worth the price of admission itself.
Still, the doc’s not without it’s flaws. A longwinded explanation of how the civil rights movement was undone by the “free love/me me me” movement of the late 60′s falls a bit short of it’s potential impact. A frank discussion about the role of black men in childbearing, and a deeper exploration of the 70% out of wedlock birth rate is largely sidestepped. And eventually the movie turns into an exploration of racism’s effects on Black America as a whole. You get the feeling that it’s about 15 minutes longer than it needs to be.
Minor criticisms aside, I’d highly recommend getting a copy of What Black Men Think. The production quality is slick and at a running time of 84 minutes, things never get dull. And who knows, you just might learn a new thing or two about the Average Brother in the process.
Final Verdict: What Black Men Think is an insightful behind the stats look at the state of black men in America. 4 Stars (Out of 5)
Just in case you haven’t seen the excerpts, here’s a refresher.
WBMT Trailer
What Black Men Think [Official Website]
Filed under: AvBro Goes To The Movies, Judge Joe Brown Says : "WELL DONE"
[With an infant, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Now, Netflix is my best friend. So, I don't see things in a timely manner, but when I do, you get the best review in town right here.]
Say what you want about Will Smith as a rapper, but if you’re hatin’ on the man’s Hollywood game, well, lets just say you must be related to Andrew Young. Smith is about as close to guaranteed money as you can get in Tinseltown, and judging by the record setting first weekend numbers of I Am Legend, it looks like his track record is safe.
That said, leave the kids at home, because I Am Legend is not your typical Happy Negro Saves The World movie, even though that’s the premise.
In this umpteenth film adaptation of the Robert Matheson novel “The Last Man On Earth”, Smith plays scientist Dr. Robert Neville. When an incurable manmade virus wipes out the entire population of (where else?) New York City, Neville and his trusty canine companion Sam search the city for survivors by day, while holing themselves in at night, as virus infected, nocturnal, carnivorous mutants come out in search of their blood. It’s a far more complicated premise than I just described, but for real, if I gave away much more, I’d be probably spoiling it for someone.
Speaking of spoiling it, I think the movie’s advertising is a bit misleading. While the trailers for Legend make it look like another Independence Day, or Men In Black, make no mistake: this is a horror movie. AB likes being scared to death, loves it in fact, but judging by the response of much of the rest of the audience (quite a few of whom had small children and got up and left), maybe the movie could have been more truthfully advertised. I’m just sayin’, you’ve been forewarned.
Anyways, if you’re into large scale explosions, dogfights, creepy CGI generated creatures, deer beeing eaten alive, high speed car crashes, eerie ghoulish sounds, and ridonculously blatant product placement, this is the movie for you. And if you like being scared s*****ss, you might wanna leave work right now and go peep the matinee.
I know sci-fi/horror movies, especially ones with $250M budgets are never seriously considered for awards, but Smith’s role as Robert Neville is probably even better than his work in The Pursuit of Happyness. Seriously. Smith spends about 90% of the movie as the only person onscreen, and as he goes through the range of numbness, optimism, fear, dementia, and hope, you realize that few other actors could have pulled this off as skillfully. The role is race-neutral: Brad Pitt could have played it, but not nearly as well. There’s no way a big budget flick like this will get an Oscar nomination. And that shows why the Academy Awards, intent on always elevating marginal indies nobody’s ever seen or heard of, stays losing. But for the record, Smith is in career best form here.
If you couldn’t already tell, I really liked this movie. It’s the kinda flick that home theaters and 50 inch plasma TV’s were made for so it will be on my must-buy DVD list in about 3 months. Do youself a favor and good peep it, but beware of my disclaimers if you aren’t into horror flicks. This ain’t no typical Will Smith movie.
Final Verdict: I would give this movie a perfect 5 stars, but I try to reserve that rating for more serious movies. That’s the only reason why. 4.5 Stars (Out of 5)
Filed under: AvBro Goes To The Movies
[With an infant, I don't get to go to the movies at all nowadays. Pre-AverageBaby, I didn't miss an opening weekend. Now, Netflix is my best friend. So, I don't see things in a timely manner, but when I do, you get the best review in town right here.]
Watching the previews and pre-release hype of the new Denzel Washington/Russell Crowe drug drama American Gangster had me conflicted from the jump. Like every other person in the world, I’m a big Denzel fan, and I’d like him to succeed. I also don’t buy into the stereotype of the only “positive” portrayals of blacks have to be doctor/lawyer or Cosby Show type images. Reality is, any story of any person overcoming great odds to become extraordinarily successful is inspiring on some level, to me at least.
On the flipside, in a year in which “the black image” has been constantly under assault, do I really need to drop $40 of the AB.com Gross Domestic Product to support a movie that is essentially Eyes On The Prize for dopeboys? The few times I’ve seen BET’s similarly titled miniseries, I’ve walked away thinking that the thin line between glorification of abhorrent acts and praising brilliant business savvy has been traipsed over far too many times. Do I really want to give my hard earned duckats to a movie that practically celebrates the very ills that have our communities in the depressed positions they’re currently in?
AverageSis and I missed opening weekend for this movie, and decided we’d just wait 60 days till it inevitably hit Netflix. Surprise of all surprises, the movie raked in nearly $50M it’s opening weekend and is still going strong, so obviously, not many others were similarly conflicted. Our $40 wasn’t missed. This success was somewhat surprising given the near CD quality bootleg floating around the East Coast (and maybe nationwide), which appears to be a stolen screener. We were “lent” a copy of this same bootleg, and thus, I finally got around to seeing the movie this weekend.
American Gangster is the story of a Vietnam-era Harlem drug dealer named Frank Lucas (Washington) who inherits the “family” business when his mentor Bumpy Johnson (a geriatric Clarence Williams IV) meets an untimely demise. Taking Bumpy’s dying advice to “cut out the middle man” to heart, Lucas circumvents the usual channels of drug distribution by travelling to Thailand and procuring mass quantities of uncut cocaine with military assistance. With 100% pure and affordably priced product on the street (Blue Magic), Lucas’ empire grows exponentially, and he imports his entire family from North Carolina to help run the operation. Such innovation upsets the natural order of things, as Italian mobsters, the corrupt police who assist them, and fellow Harlem dealers all aim to take Frank Lucas down. Further adding to the suspense is NYPD Detective Richie Roberts (Crowe), who leaves the force after discovering its internal corruption and works with the Feds to get to the bottom of the whole thing.
After all the buildup (the Jay-Z soundtrack, the real life Lucas’ media rounds, whispers of Oscar nominations for Washington and Crowe), finally watching the movie itself felt like somewhat of a letdown. The movie itself is definitely not awful, it’s just underwhelming given what I expected. Washington delivers his typically nuanced performance as Lucas, but you get the feeling you’re watching Denzel playing Denzel, not Denzel playing a ruthless crime boss. Crowe’s character is more complex, but hardly likable himself. The starpower drops off precipitously from there, as most of the other castmates are underused vets (Roger Guenveur Smith, Idris Elba, Joe Morton, Cuba Gooding Jr) or rappers (Common, The RZA, T.I.) playing inconsequential bit parts. The only other bright spot here is the always entertaining Chiwetel Ejioforn (Kinky Boots, Inside Man, Talk To Me), who plays Frank’s dangerously naive younger brother Huey. If there’s a guy who deserves his own starring role more, I’ve yet to discover him. Get this dude his own movie, please.
Like similarly overhyped (and to some, unwatchable) flicks such as The Godfather and Scarface , I suppose this movie will gain some sort of cult following over time. That iconic A.G. poster will be seen on the wall of every MTV Crib a decade from now. This isn’t by any means a bad movie. It just doesn’t (in my opinion) quite live up to the weeks of relentless hype that proceeded it. All things considered though, I wouldn’t be surprised one bit to see Washington nominated for Best Actor. It’s odd that the most “positive” roles of his career (Cry Freedom, Malcolm X, Glory, The Hurricane) have been largely ignored, yet he finally won for (what else?) playing a corrupt cop in Training Day. His next movie, The Great Debaters, is about “Professor Melvin Tolson, a brilliant but volatile debate team coach who uses the power of words to shape a group of underdog students from a small African American college in the deep south into a historically elite debate team”. That sounds more my speed, but I’m sure the Academy will probably elevate Eyes On The Prize: DopeBoy Edition instead.
Again, don’t be surprised.
Final Verdict: If a neighbor has the bootleg, borrow it. If you’ve gotta see it, at least go to the matinee. 3.5 Stars (Out of 5)
[Editor's Note: AverageBro.com does not condone purchasing "bootlegs" or otherwise illegally obtaining copywritten material. But for the record, the bootleg of American Gangster available at your local barber/beauty shop is probably the best quality I've ever seen. I'm just sayin'.]
American Gangster [Yahoo! Movies]
