Filed under: AvBro NewsBriefs, Drive-By Activism, Frivolous Lawsuits, Raise Your Own Damn Kids
All the news that’s fit to print, but not worthy of it’s own post.
Well, it’s Q4, which means the Day Job is cracking the massas’s whip having us chase that paper double-time to reach those EOY targets. This of course means I’m gonna have to keep the blog entries short and sweet for awhile, since my wife wants that new iPod for Christmas, and you know where money doesn’t grow.
Anyways, some stuff that caught my eye.
Jena Six Slapped With Lawsuit
Hmmm, just when you thought Mychal Bell was out of trouble after taking that guilty plea the other day, the bad news just keeps on comin’.
The family of the victim in the “Jena Six” case has sued the adults accused of beating him, the families of the juveniles allegedly involved and the board of the school where the attack occurred.Justin Barker and his parents, David and Kelli, also accuse a seventh, uncharged student of being part of the group that attacked Justin on Dec. 4, 2006, as he walked out of Jena High School’s gym headed to another class.
Barker spent several hours in the emergency room after the attack but was discharged and attended a school event the night after the attack.
The lawsuit was filed Nov. 29 in state district court. It alleges that the LaSalle Parish School Board is liable because school employees were not adequately supervising students and failed to maintain discipline.
Let’s be honest here, the Barker family is not suing the Jena 6. Lord knows, even beyond the money some of these idiots are flossin’ on MySpace and BET, these kids and their families don’t have two nickels to rub together. This is all about trying to extort the county school board, which I think is pretty darned heinous when you think about it.
Still, I can’t help but wonder how much that MySpace fiasco might have agitated the Barkers to the point that they wanted their own money. If we see Justin Barker on Facebook covered in dollar bills, or on the CMT Awards next year, we really shouldn’t be all that surprised.
Sperm Donor Sued For Back Child Support
Boy, talk about ungrateful recipients. This one takes the cake.
A sperm donor may have to pay child support after the mother’s lawyer argued that the man has sent birthday cards and otherwise acted like a father to the teenage child, the donor’s lawyer said.
A Nassau County Family Court judge recently blocked the man from seeking a paternity test. The man’s lawyer, Deborah Kelly, says the Nov. 16 ruling sets the stage for a magistrate to determine how much her client may owe in support. The parties in the case are listed anonymously.
The man, a doctor, donated sperm to a hospital resident and her female partner in the late 1980s. The child was born in July 1989.
The donor and the women agreed verbally that he wouldn’t have any rights in the child’s upbringing, according to court documents. But he allowed his name to appear on the child’s birth certificate because he felt it was in the child’s best interests to have “an identity,” court documents say.
But Kelly said her client’s gestures of goodwill were being unfairly used against him.
“What’s the saying? No good deed goes unpunished,” she said.
I know I usually side with men when it comes to issues of child support, so you could already color me biased, but this is just friggin’ ridiculous. Granted, the donor probably didn’t do the right thing by continually showering the kid with money, gifts, and letters all marked “Dad”. He also probably shouldn’t have maintained a relationship with the kid by phone. I guess the guy just couldn’t help himself.
Still, how gully is it for the chicks to now ask this poor guy for years and years of back child support? I mean, really, he helped these women obtain the ultimate gift: life. I am guessing this is probably more of a personal beef because the women just wanted this guy to give his specimen and get lost, while he’s probably had second thoughts and tried to maintain a distant relationship with the kid.
That said, if these women can take him to court for child support, couldn’t he also sue for custody? Perhaps I’m way off after just shoveling a crapload of snow off my driveway, but that seems pretty fair to me.
I invite my resident attorneys to weigh in on both of these seemingly frivolous lawsuits in the comments.
Hot Links:
Victim in Jena 6 Case Sues Over Beating [ABC News]
Mychal Bell Of Jena Six To Remain In Jail As Part Of Plea Deal: Report [MTV]
Sperm Donor ‘Dad’ Must Pay Child Support [ABC News]
Filed under: AvBro NewsBriefs, NBA = Nuthin' But Africans, PoliTricks as Usual
All the news that’s fit to print, but not worthy of it’s own post.
R.I.P. Sean Taylor
I’m not sure if this is news outside the DC urreah, but Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor (pictured above) died this morning after being shot Sunday night in an apparent home invasion. Details of why he was shot are sketchy at the moment, but what is known thus far seems to indicate that this was more than a routine robbery gone bad.
Taylor’s home had been broken into twice in the week before the shooting. The telephone lines were severed before this incident. He was shot twice and the intruders, who did not steal anything, fled. Taylor has had some high profile brushes with the law in the past, and many speculate that this killing could be payback of some sort.
In a city chronically obsessed with all things Redskin (you’d really have to live here to understand), this story is being treated like the death of a President. Wall to wall Fox News-style coverage on local news and sports channels is already ongoing. Callers are dialing in condolences, more than a few people have broken down on the radio.
For a guy who has always been portrayed as a shady character with an icy relationship with the media, the coverage is somewhat surprising. Usually athletes of this sort are hardly given the sympathetic treatment when they fall on hard times. When chronic NBA underachievers Eddy Curry and Antoine Walker were similarly home invaded last summer, the media sentiment seemed to be that “they had it coming”. If Barry Bonds were in such a predicament, I would expect very few supporters. Of course a guy being in a coma, then subsequently dying is hardly apples and apples, but it’s enlightening to say the least.
I don’t know Sean Taylor obviously, nor am I really much of a fan of the team, but it’s sad to see yet another young black man (24) die in what seems to be a not-so-random act of violence. If there’s any silver lining here, it’s that Taylor’s case will probably be given lots of attention, not necessarily because he’s a rich athlete, but because his father is the police chief of a neighboring jurisdiction. I hope the killers are bought to justice quickly.
Pray for the Taylor family.
R.I.P. Trent Lott
No, Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott didn’t kick the bucket, although you could argue that his career’s been dead since that bizarre ode to Strom Thurmond years ago. Still, he’s been subsequently re-elected, and one year into his latest term, has decided to call it quits at year’s end. The reason? Because it’s time to get paid of course.
Some odd new law requires Senators and Congressmen to wait two years after leaving office before they can legally become lobbyists. By leaving office on December 31st, Lott sidesteps this requirement and can start cashing in far sooner.
What. A. Country.
Does WifeTime Still Wanna Shoot That Cathy Lanier Movie?
A few months back I blogged about just how silly it was that Fox was considering a project based on the ascent of DC Police Chief Cathy Lanier. The premise of the show would be based loosely on Lanier’s struggles and successes as the first white female chief of this majority black city.
I didn’t have any problems with this concept, I just thought it was pretty silly given the fact that Lanier hadn’t even been on the job for 6 months, hardly enough time to consider her time in office a success. This post picked up steam and ended up on 2-3 other sites around the web. Many disagreed with my rationale, and missed the point completely. I don’t have any issue with Lanier, and I hope she does well. I just thought that any story about her before she had the time to prove herself was downright silly. Did anyone make a movie about Tony Dungee 2 games into his career as an NFL coach? Of course not.
I surmised that the only premise for such a show would have to be yet another example the of-so-tired “white person saves helpless blacks from themselves” genre of movies like The Substitute, Finding Forrester, Dangerous Minds, Freedom Writers, Take The Lead, etc. Really, what other premise could there be?
I’ve yet to hear any update on this series, but maybe Fox should consider tabling the idea. Lanier herself wasn’t too crazy about it, and with DC murders hitting 170 this past weekend, surpassing the total for all of last year, she already has her hands full anyway.
The FCC Should Have Better Things To Do
So, in the wake of Nipplegate, which believe it or not, these guys were still deliberating just a few months ago, the FCC is now turning it’s attention to cleaning up cable TV.
Spare us the trouble, guys.
Reality is, if people pay money for cable (as opposed to simply watching local channels, which are free), they should be able to watch whatever they darn well please and selectively block out the channels (as most receivers allow) they don’t. The gubb’ment doesn’t need to intervene here.
I swear, if I tune into The Boondocks and they are suddenly bleeping the “N-Word”, or if The Shield suddenly looks more like CSI:Farmington, I’m walking downtown and smackin’ somebody.
Note to the FCC: find another target.
Hot Links:
Redskins’ Taylor dies after shooting [AP]
Sen. Trent Lott Announces Resignation [CBS]
At 170, Homicides Pass Total for Last Year [WP]
FCC Could Extend Reach To Cable TV [WP]
Filed under: AvBro NewsBriefs, Crap Music, Hollyweird, Knee-Grow Please, Nigga Nonsense, Raise Your Own Damn Kids, White Men Gone Wild
All the news that’s fit to print, but not worthy of it’s own post.
Last Hired, First Fired, Even For “Legit” Black CEO’s
Despite what many might think, there are actual, real, black CEO’s who run actual, real Fortune 500 companies, not just the MySpace rapper/$30 business card types. However, the herd was just thinned by one.
The still unfolding mortgage-related credit crisis has claimed its biggest corporate casualty so far: Merrill Lynch CEO Stan O’Neal. The announcement Tuesday that O’Neal is retiring immediately came days after the world’s largest brokerage posted a $2.24 billion quarterly loss, its biggest since being founded 93 years ago.Board members and staff had expressed unhappiness with O’Neal’s management, reports CBS News correspondent Randall Pinkston, especially his strategy of investing in securities backed by risky loans and sub-prime mortgages, which resulted in a loss of $8 billion.
O’Neal, 56, who rose to power five years ago, was known for shaking up top management and putting a greater emphasis on riskier bets, rather than the safety of just selling stocks. That strategy – which handed Merrill Lynch record results during the market’s peak – came with a heavy cost during the tumultuous third quarter.
O’Neal is the descendant of a former slave, and grew up in poverty in Alabama before rising to become one of the highest-ranking African-Americans on Wall Street. He worked his way through a Harvard business degree by working at General Motors Corp., and in 1986 joined Merrill as a banker in its junk-bond department.
Of course, this is a black man after all, and no story of such a dismissal could end without the typical parting shot.
His elevation to CEO was seen by some as an experiment by the company’s board, most of which have since retired. O’Neal mostly held positions on the client-contact side, which goes against the trading background most of its other CEOs had.
Experiment? Being given the keys to a Fortune 500 company, an experiment? I think not.
Don’t feel too bad for the brother though. Unlike Fannie Mae’s Franklin Raines, he isn’t leaving under the suspicion of corruption, so he’ll likely get another gig elsewhere. And if he doesn’t, that Golden Parachute sure won’t hurt.
It was not known how much O’Neal would receive as an exit package, though there have been some reports it would be nearly $200 million. He was paid roughly $48 million salary in 2006, and had $160 million in stock and retirement benefits.
$200M to walk? Dag, guess I know what career to steer AverageBaby toward now.
Ivy-League Negro Nonsense
Even the Ivory Towers aren’t immune from hood’ level Negro Nonsense.
Two people were arrested as police struggled to keep the peace while students knucked, bucked and fought Saturday (Oct. 27) during a Harvard Society of Black Scientists and Engineers (HSBSE) step-show after party in the Lowell House dining hall at Harvard University. The partygoers were taken into custody for disorderly conduct, according to the Harvard Crimson.According to the newspaper, fights ensued after the party’s DJ played the Crime Mob hit “Knuck If You Buck.” More than 20 police patrol cars, including six state police cruisers and several Cambridge and HUPD cars, were deployed to the scene as additional brawls broke out in the Lowell courtyard.
I’m sure those kids parents, who have probably double mortgaged their homes to send their children to Cambridge are proud of this one. And dag, wasn’t “Knuck if You Buck” made in like 2000 or something? They could at least wild out to “I’ll Still Kill” or something more recent.
That’s Hot… But I Ain’t Goin’ To Rwanda
A few weeks ago when Parasite Hilton announced an upcoming trip to address the plight of our African brethren, I told ya’ll if this ever happened, it would be little more than a photo op.
Her trip to Rwanda has been postponed, but Paris Hilton is still determined to use her celebrity status for good causes. Hilton announced the mission in September, several months after serving a 23-day jail sentence.“I want to travel the world,” the 26-year-old socialite says in an interview posted on the Web site of the syndicated entertainment TV show “Extra.” “I feel like there’s a lot I can do, and a lot I can do to help.”
The Playing for Good Foundation announced last week that Hilton’s philanthropic trip to Rwanda has been postponed due to restructuring of the children’s charity. On her itinerary: visits to schools and health-care clinics. Hilton told “Extra” she will now pack her bags for the African country sometime next year.
“We were supposed to be going in November, but then the charity is doing restructuring and figuring things out. It’s going to be for next year,” she said. “I know (Rwanda) went through a lot of traumatic experiences, and I feel like if I go there, I can help save some people’s lives.”
So we’ll have to wait a few more months for Ms. Hilton to save the chill’rens. I’m sure they’re waiting on pins and needles.
Note to Rwandans, don’t hold your breath.
Hot Links:
Merrill CEO Out After Big Mortgage Loss [CBS]
Crime Mob Song Ignites Multiple Fights At Harvard [AllHipHop]
Paris Hilton to head to Rwanda next year [Yahoo]
Filed under: AvBro NewsBriefs, PoliTricks as Usual, Raise Your Own Damn Kids
Well, I’m back on the road again this week. The Day Job actually needs me to earn my pay (the nerve of some folks), thus I’m slummin’ it in the Twin Cities yet again. So, as usual, here’s a few things worth noting, but not worthy of their own post.
Oprah has a “Thyroid Problem”. Yeah, right.
If you’ve watched Oprah over the years, you know she drops and gains weight just like Luther Vandross did (RIP). This has always been puzzling to me. After all, if you can afford to pay a professional dietitian to choose and cook every single piece of food that goes in your mouth, how the heck can you possibly gain weight? It’s almost like fat professional athletes. If you play basketball 4 hours a day, everyday, how the hell can you get fat?
Turns out, Oprah has an excuse.
Oprah Winfrey is going public about the thyroid condition that slowed down her metabolism and caused her to gain 20 pounds.Winfrey, 53, was feeling incredibly sluggish by the time her talk show wrapped up its season in May. She eventually discovered the problem: an out-of-balance thyroid.
“My body was turning on me,” she says in the October issue of O, the Oprah magazine. “First hyperthyroidism, which sped up my metabolism and left me unable to sleep for days. (Most people lose weight. I didn’t.)”
Winfrey, exhausted and stressed, took a month-long break in Hawaii to regain her health.
So Harpo has a thyroid problem. Yeah. Right.
She has a problem alright. A Thigh-roid problem, Wing-roid problem, and a Breast-roid problem. Heck, there’s probably a Texas-Pete-roid problem too, but they ain’t diagnosed that one yet.
All jokes aside, get well soon, Oprah.
Do You Know What Your Kids Are Reading?
I wouldn’t know a Hobbit from a Smurf, but I found this Harry Potter related nugget pretty interesting nonetheless.
Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling served up a bombshell Friday evening during a reading at Carnegie Hall, telling a crowd of fans from throughout the United States thatDumbledore, the wise Hogwarts headmaster and mentor to Harry, is gay.“I always saw Dumbledore as gay,” Rowling said in answer to a fan’s question about whether the wizard ever found love.
The crowd of about 2,000 hardcore Harry fans, who had won tickets through a nationwide drawing, exploded in screams and applause at the news.
This reminds me of the time a few years ago that I took my nephew to the library. He was staying with us over the summer, so I gave him the assignment of finding a book, any book, on black history and giving me a report when we was finished. So, we find a book on the Underground Railroad, and I figure everything’s lovely.
Later, after dinner, lil’ Dude is telling me about the book, and it’s completely focused on some little Southern white girl who, out of the kindness of her heart, convinces her Dad to help free some of his neighbor’s slaves in the middle of the night, and then helps lead these slaves to freedom in Canada. There was zero mention of Harriet Tubman. Zero mention of the actual Underground Railroad. Zero mention of the fact that slaves tried to escape all the time themselves. No, this was just another example of white guilt re-writing history in a self-congratulatory manner.
I’m not saying that whites didn’t help blacks escape slavery (of course they
did), nor that they haven’t helped us at other junctures in our fight for equal rights (lets not forget, Jews helped create the NAACP). Still, reducing historical oppression to the mere whims of a sympathetic child is pretty dangerous stuff. Of course, I had to explain all this to my nephew in an age-appropriate manner. Lesson learned, the next time I took him to the library, I made sure to double-check what he was picking out first.
I’m just sayin’, between this example and the apparently hidden cues in these Harry Potter books, be aware of what your kids are reading. The iPod ain’t the only hidden danger.
David Copperfield (Allegedly) Takes the Coochie
Okay, he hasn’t been charged with anything yet, but tell me you ain’t laugh just a little bit when you heard this story.
FOX News is reporting that a woman has accused magician David Copperfield of rape, shedding light on why the FBI may have raided his Las Vegas warehouse.The woman, from Seattle, reportedly told police he raped her while she was in the Bahamas. Because the alleged incident happened overseas, and she reportedly did not alert authorities until she returned to the U.S., Seattle authorities turned the case over to the FBI.
Let me put this right out there; there is absolutely nothing funny about rape. Period.vBut still, I know the late night talk shows will have a ball with this one. The possibilities are limitless.
Dude, you are David Copperfield. You are a magician. You can make women levitate, vanish into thin air, saw them in half, and pull rabits out of strange random places. That alone should guarantee some level of interest from the opposite sex. You shouldn’t have to (allegedly) take the coochie.
Let’s see the smarmy Copperfield “disappear” from this one.
American’s First Indian Governor
I don’t know enough about this story to say how it’s being received, but still, it’s pretty amazing nonetheless.
Republican Rep. Bobby Jindal was elected governor of Louisiana on Saturday to become the first Indian-American to lead a U.S. state.With most of the precincts counted, Jindal, 36, had 54 percent of the vote to win without a runoff in Louisiana’s electoral system, where candidates of all parties run in a single primary.
The Oxford-educated Jindal will replace Gov. Kathleen Blanco, a Democrat who did not run again after she was widely criticized for bungled recovery efforts following Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Blanco narrowly defeated Jindal in the 2003 election.
Republican affiliation aside (not that I still wouldn’t vote for him of course), I think it’s pretty amazing thatJindal won. He’s Indian American, not Native American (ie : with the dot, not the feather). Lets not forget, Louisiana is still the Deep South, a place seldom associated with progressive thought. In Post-9-11 America, this is a pretty noteworthy development.
I happened to see this story on CNN this morning, and I was probably more stunned with how this guy talked (like Jeff Foxworthy) than anything else.
If you’re from Louisiana and care to weigh in on this one, drop a comment.
Hot Links:
Oprah Talks About Her Thyroid Condition [ABCNews]
‘Harry Potter’ author: Dumbledore is gay [USAToday]
Woman Accuses Copperfield of Rape [ExtraTV]
Louisiana elects Jindal, first Indian-American governor [Reuters]
Filed under: AvBro NewsBriefs, Crap Music, Don't Drop The Soap, Hollyweird, Keep It In Your Pants, Knee-Grow Please, MLK is Crying Inside, NBA = Nuthin' But Africans, Nigga Nonsense
I’ve got a boatload of work to do before I return to the Twin Cities next week, so here’s a few assorted newsbits to pass along. Note the common theme in all of these stories.
Ballin’ Out Of Control
It hasn’t been a good week for NBA players. New Jersey Nets PG Jason Kidd, who is in the midst of a nasty divorce, gives his psycho ex-wife even more ammunition by allegedly crotch groping a woman in a Manhattan bar. Not to be outdone, Sacramento Kings Center Justin Williams and his girlfriend are accused of having a menage a trois the “old fashioned way”, by unknowingly drugging a house guest.
Of course, the biggest loser? winner unfortunately has to play for the team I financially support 12-15 times of season. After a wild summer of shootouts and really odd public behavior, Washington Wizards SG DeShawn Stevenson (that’s him above flashing the AmEx Black card) is being accused of either:
1. Propositioning actress Lindsay Lohan via MySpace for $10k. (or)
2. Looking to buy cocaine via MySpace for $10k.
Read this cryptic message and tell me which one you think it is?
I Got A Couple Ppl On The Lindsay LoHan Deal!!! But Im Giving Somebody 10 Stacks If They Hook That Sh*t Up!!! 4 U Slow Ppl 10 Thousand Dollars 2 The First Muthaf*cker Get Me The Contact 4 Her!!!!!!! Before My Ppl Get The Number They Moving 2 Slow 4 Me So Holla At Yo Boy If U Need That 10,000 Grand!!!!!!!!! U Kno I Need That White Girl Lindsay Lohan!!!! First N*gga Or Female Get Me That Sh*t I Wire That Money Str8 2 Ur Account Hit Me On Email If U Got The Real Sh*t!!!!!!! TwoFamily@mac.com!!!!! Yadddddaaaaa Boy
This dude needs Jesus, Hooked on Phonics, and some penicillin. I’d just settle for a reliable mid-range jumper, but hey.
Would October 31st, please hurry up and get here?
Rap is Outta Control (Again)
As if the BET Hip Hop Awards weren’t enough of a black eye on the rap game, rappers themselves continued the pile-on with a bunch of typically ignorant actions.
Nas, whose album titles (“Hip Hop Is Dead”, “God’s Son”, “Illmatic”) seem to be more interesting than his actual albums nowadays, will shoot for the free-pub moon again this December. The proposed title of the album? You guessed it… “Nigga”. Good luck getting that one stocked at Walmart, buddy.
Foxy Brown, who lied about being pregnant to avoid jail time, actually got sent to the clink for assaulting her neighbor with a cellphone in a dispute over music being player too loudly. Before finally going to court for arraignment this week, Brown had skipped the jail bus twice, because, get this, “her hair and makeup were not completed, another time because she was eating lunch”. Good to know her priorities are in order.
Serial Impregnator, Diddy didn’t have yet another illegit kid pinned on him this week, which is good considering his predicament. After a fistfight with a onetime business associate last weekend, Diddy is facing the real possibility of jail time. The reason for the fight? What else, a woman.
Speaking of jail time, rapper T.I. is still in jail, after being arrested for possession of three unregistered machine guns and two silencers, and for possession of firearms by a convicted felon. T.I. claims the military grade weapons were needed to protect his family. Of course doesn’t make any sense, because T.I. lives in College Park, not Kosovo.
Your Tax Dollars At Work
Speaking of military, while you were gently sleeping the night of August 29th, did you know a B-52 bomber inadvertently full of nuclear bombs was flying across the US?
The Air Force will recommend the firing and disciplining of several service members involved in the mistaken flight of nuclear warheads across the country in August, according to a military official familiar with the investigation.The just-concluded investigation into the August 29 incident is expected to recommend the firing of at least five Air Force service personnel and disciplinary action against others for failure to follow safety and security procedures, according to the source.
Criminal charges also are being considered, the source said.
The B-52 bomber carried six nuclear warheads on air-launched cruise missiles headed to Barksdale Air Force Base for decommissioning, but the warheads should have been removed from the missiles before they were attached to the B-52, military officials said.
I have nothing to add to this other than, “Jesus Be a Fence.”
Hot Links:
Source: Firings likely in transport of nuclear warheads across U.S. [CNN]
Woman Accuses Kidd of Groping Her [AOL]
Source: Woman Claims Kings’ Williams Drugged, Raped Her [ABC10]
DESHAWN STEVENSON LIKES LINDSAY LOHAN [WithLeather]
Record Label Denies Rap Star Nas’ Claim of Forthcoming Album Called ‘Nigga’ [FoxNews]
Diddy Sought For Questioning In New York Nightclub Incident: Report [MTV]
Rapper T.I. remains in custody [AJC]
FOXY BROWN CATCHES COURT BUS; PLEADS NOT GUILTY [EUR]
Filed under: AvBro NewsBriefs, Frivolous Lawsuits, NBA = Nuthin' But Africans, Nigga Nonsense
Okay, my week in the Land of 1000 Lakes is over, so here’s some stuff from the world of sports that’s interesting, but not interesting enough for it’s own post.
I Always Thought Marion Jones Was Dope, But Not Literally Dope
True story: back in the early 90′s, while still an undergrad, I met Marion Jones, then a fine as hell, and effeminate freshman PG for the National Champion UNC Tarheels at a nightspot in Chapel Hill, and she was apparently diggin’ what I had to say. Just as I was moving in for the 7 digits (this was the pre-SideKick/IM days, kiddies), she said “excuse me” and took off running across the club, jumped in some girl’s face (who had apparently been eyeing her the whole time we were talking), got in a shouting match, and the next thing I know, she straight cold cocks the girl, and 3-4 of Marion’s friends jump in and proceed to stomp and beat the chick to a pulp. Needless to say, she (hair askew and still poppin’ mad shit) got kicked out of the club, so I didn’t get her number. Then again, considering the can of whoop ass she unloaded on her unexpecting victim, I can’t say getting that number would have been a good idea anyway. Sure, my boys clowned me for the rest of the night (she clearly wasn’t listening to me the whole time I was talking), but I couldn’t help but wonder “what if?”. My undergrad, somewhat-grown man crush would have to go forever unfulfilled.
Fast forward: Jones ditches hoops for track, goes on to win Olympic gold, marries a shot putter who is found guilty of doping, divorces him, grows more and more manly looking by the year, wins more gold, gets knocked up by a fellow runner who is later found guilty of doping, is accused of doping herself, begins to lose races left and right, and finally retires amid allegations of steroid abuse. Whew.
Of yeah, Jones finally admitted to using steroids before the 2000 Olympics in a recent letter to close family and friends.
On second thought, I am SO glad I never got that number.
RocaWear Arena? Jigga Please Update
I told ya’ll last week, that Jay Z’s quest to rename the Continental Airlines Arena where the team he “owns” plays was nothing more than a free plug for the clothing line he no longer “owns”. The drive to rebrand the building the RocaWear Arena was, as I told you, nothing more than a nice PR boost for a guy with an album coming out next month, just like his ownership of the New Jersey Nets is little more than PR to grease the skids for the team’s displacement of thousands of citizens via eminent domain to build their new arena in Brooklyn. Just to underscore my point, Izod Lacoste won naming rights to the arena.
OJ Rocks Fake Rollies
I don’t exactly know if this qualifies as sports, per se, but it sure as hell is funny. After obtaining a judge’s order to claim many personal items of OJ Simpson in the wake of his recent legal issues, the Goldmans took possession of one of Simpson’s Rolex™ watches. The street value of such a watch would be anywhere from $5,000-$25,000, which considering the Goldmans have only collected about $10k of that massive $40M civil trial settlement, would be a nice come up. Turns out Biz Markie ain’t the only one sportin’ fake jewelry. OJ probably bought this Rolex knockoff from them Middle Eastern dudes in Georgetown, and as a result, it’s worth little more than $125 at best.
More Trouble For Mike Vick
NFL Players Association lawyers argued Thursday that the league’s collective bargaining agreement protects Michael Vick from the Atlanta Falcons’ attempts to be refunded up to $22 million in bonus money. I happen to agree that Vick shouldn’t have to return this money. By all accounts, in his contract, the $22M signing bonus was guaranteed. The last time I checked, guaranteed meant just that: guaranteed. Let the man keep his money, he’s gonna need it to pay off all these debtors coming out the wood works for him.
Filed under: AvBro NewsBriefs, Frivolous Lawsuits, Hollyweird, Keep It In Your Pants, Raise Your Own Damn Kids
The Day Job has me on the road this week in sunny Minneapolis, MN, home of 1000 Lakes, Kirby Puckett, Prince, and the infamous Larry Craig bathroom. Since I’m actually, you know, working during the day, here’s some stuff that’s not worthy of a post, but you might wanna know anyway.
Isaiah Loses Case, Amazingly Keeps Job.
To the surprise of few, The New York Knicks organization and coach Isaiah Thomas lost their sexual harassment suit and will have to pay former executive Anucha Browne Sanders a cool $12M. I guess it’s good that this sad affair is finally over and we can now focus on NBA training camp, but man, if there were ever a better example of When “eff’ a settlement, let’s take it to court” Goes Wrong, I’d like to see it. The carcasses of Stephon Marbury’s rehabbed image, Thomas’ scouting talent, and black-male female relations post-Hill/Thomas litter the highway of decency.
Eddie Winslow Is a Simp!
Remember weeks ago when I told you SuperHead was allegedly engaged to someone famous? Well, turns out the victim/trick is none other than the cat who played Eddie Winslow on the 90′s Cosby Show ripoff, Family Matters. I hope the brother has penicillin and a strong pre-nup, because there’s no way this one is ending nicely. Carl Winslow is crying inside.
Britney Spears: White Girl Lost
Too the surprise of nobody, Hollyweird courts ruled that Britney Spears had to relinquish complete custody of her two sons to ex-husband Kevin Federline. It’s a sad case of motherhood when the judge says a serial impregnator responsible for “PoPoZao” is more fit to raise your kids than you. Britney Spears makes Susan Smith look like June Cleaver by comparison.
Filed under: AvBro NewsBriefs, Don't Drop The Soap, Hollyweird, Nigga Nonsense, TeeVee Sux, White Men Gone Wild
Nope, this isn’t necessarily one of those days when The Day Job actually asks me to work for a living. But since there isn’t anything incredibly blogworthy, and since most visitors to this site are still ripping me a new one for the Jail vs Yale post the other day, I figured I’d take it light today, and drop this trio of “Hollyweird” miscellany.
Are the GEICO Cavemen Actually Brothas?
A few months back, I was told about the “hidden racism” in the pilot to ABC’s upcoming sitcom based on the GEICO Cavemen. I “acquired” a copy of this pilot, but since the audio didn’t work, I never actually watched it. Still, it seems like the less than warm and fuzzy reception of that episode made the folks at ABC go back to the lab quicker than you can say “The Secret Diary of Desmond Phiffer”.
Cavemen” had to undergo a pre-debut evolution. A new first episode with a new setting, San Diego instead of Atlanta, will air when the sitcom begins 8 p.m. EDT Tuesday. ABC announced in July that the pilot didn’t properly introduce the idea of Cro-Magnon buddies living in modern society and would be redone.
The spots wittily depict shaggy-looking cavemen chafing at misconceptions about their sophistication and intelligence. The series follows another trio of Cro-Magnons battling bias as they try to fit into a world that believes (wrongly, as the show has it) they’re extinct.
In July, when the producers and cast attended the Television Critics Association meeting, they were asked if the prejudice the cavemen faced in the pilot, for instance, that they were athletically superior, was intended to echo the stereotyping that blacks face.
Not at all, the producers said, reiterating that position again this week. While the show is about how people treat minorities it has nothing to do with any specific real-life group, they said.
That pilot is probably still somewhere out there in Cyberspace if you’re willing to look for it. My man The Human Resource from StartSnitching.com said it was pretty foul, and I tend to agree with him more times that not.
I won’t bother watching this show to confirm this, but if you do let me know.
‘Cavemen’ sitcom evolves for ABC debut [AP]
Paris Goes to Rwanda
As if the folks of war torn Rwanda didn’t already have enough to worry about, Paris Hilton will be bringing her PR staff and herpes to their country this Fall.
Paris Hilton has vowed to keep her post-prison promise of devoting time to worthy causes and will demonstrate her commitment with a trip to Rwanda later this year.The celebrity socialite told the E! Online website on Wednesday that she is aiming to visit the war-torn central African nation in November after completing work on her latest film.
“I’ll be going in November, after I get back from filming my movie,” Hilton said. “There’s so much need in that area, and I feel like if I go, it will bring more attention to what people can do to help.”
Here’s what you can do to “help”, Ms. Hilton: Stay your bony ass in Hollywood!
The last thing Rwandans need to “bring more attention” to their plight is a bunch of Entertainment Tonight vignettes of Paris shopping, eating al fresco, and posing for flix with a bunch of starving kids. And while you’re at it, don’t get the wise idea of “adopting” one of them. Kids are may look “hot” on the red carpet, but they are not accessories.
Leave the faux humanitarian stuff to Madonna and Angelina. Stick to making homemade pron bad reality shows that nobody watches.
Paris Hilton planning humanitarian trip to Rwanda [E!]
Vick in Trouble (Yes…Again!)
Can’t Get Right is in yet more hot water. You’d think a dude staring at a lenghty prison sentence and the end of his professional career would find Jesus. Heck, he even admitted as much himself. Apparently, Bedside Baptist ain’t the only thing Mike’s discovered in the past few weeks.
Michael Vick, who has been suspended indefinitely by the National Football League after admitting he bankrolled a dogfighting operation, tested positive for marijuana Sept. 13 and will have his behavior further monitored by the federal court system as he awaits a December sentencing date.Vick, who had been the Atlanta Falcons’ starting quarterback, will be restricted to his residence from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m., and his movements will be monitored by an electronic bracelet. He must also submit to drug testing at any time.
But wait… it gets worse for inmate #6297 #7.
Vick’s troubles do not end there. He was indicted yesterday on Virginia state charges of beating or killing or causing dogs to fight other dogs and engaging in or promoting dogfighting. Each felony is punishable by up to five years in prison.And the Royal Bank of Canada recently sued Vick for more than $2.3 million, alleging that his guilty plea and suspension have caused him to default on a loan.
Damn, talk about catching a bad break.
On second thought, if I had all these walls closing in on me at once, I might need to take a toke or 30 myself.
Keep your head up, Mike. Literally. Keep your head, and for that matter, your upper torso up. [||] It’s gonna be hell in that cell.
Vick Fails Drug Test and Faces Travel Limits [NYTimes]
Filed under: AvBro NewsBriefs, Don't Drop The Soap, Judge Joe Brown Says : "DO BETTER.", Nigga Nonsense
I so wish I was making this up.
A Minneapolis man has been charged with robbery after police say he robbed a woman of her keys and cell phone then took off her shoes and licked her toes.According to the criminal complaint, Carlton Jermaine Davis, 26, approached a woman who was leaving work around 1 a.m. Saturday. He said to her, in a very demanding voice, “put your cell phone and purse inside the bag”. The complaint said that the 24-year-old woman was frightened so she complied. After giving Davis her belongings he demanded she take her shoes off. She complied and Davis responded “Now I’m going to suck your feet”.
The victim told police that she was too shocked and scared to do anything. Davis then tried to suck her neck but as he approached her some people walked by and he took off. Police arrested the man a few minutes later about four blocks away. The woman identified the suspect and police were able to recover her keys and phone.
Davis has been charged with simple robbery and theft from a person, both felonies and his bail is set at $20,000.
Kids, repeat after me: “Crack is Wack, Crack is Wack!!!”. Really, what more can I add that the mugshot doesn’t already say for itself?
Davis’ brother from another, the Ol’ Dirty Bastard, is crying inside.
Mugger Who Licks Woman’s Toes Charged With Robbery [WCBS]
