I’ve been doing these polls for a few months now, and except for that one about the Now and Laters, seldom have I ever seen an edition of Poll Position with such an undisputed runaway winner.
I knew ya’ll disliked Bill O’Reilly, but even I had no idea it was this bad.
Sean Hannity finished a respectable, yet distant second. Keith Olbermann and Glen Beck registered a few votes. Nobody else really made a dent. Oddly enough, Campbell Brown, whom I would have voted for had I not been Systematically Disenfranchised, failed to record a single vote.
Apparently we have differing opinions of the term “d-bag”. Perhaps there’s an all-ladies edition coming soon. Keep it locked.
This Week’s Poll is pretty timely, given the fact that even Obama himself finally realizes he needs to switch up his game. As usual, vote early and often.
I’ve been doing these polls for a few months now, and except for that one about the Now and Laters, seldom have I ever seen an edition of Poll Position with such an undisputed runaway winner.
I knew ya’ll disliked Bill O’Reilly, but even I had no idea it was this bad.
Sean Hannity finished a respectable, yet distant second. Keith Olbermann and Glen Beck registered a few votes. Nobody else really made a dent. Oddly enough, Campbell Brown, whom I would have voted for had I not been Systematically Disenfranchised, failed to record a single vote.
Apparently we have differing opinions of the term “d-bag”. Perhaps there’s an all-ladies edition coming soon. Keep it locked.
This Week’s Poll is pretty timely, given the fact that even Obama himself finally realizes he needs to switch up his game. As usual, vote early and often.
Filed under: TeeVee Sux
If you haven’t seen this yet, you might wanna hurry because SNL is surely gonna have it yanked from YouTube really soon.
[Editor's Note: It's been yanked. Sorry. Here's a small excerpt, but you've gotta endure the d-bags of Fox and Friends to get to it. The whole thing's over at SNL's site on NBC.com, but I'm not embedding their janky player here. Find it on your own. Sorry.]
This isn’t quite as pointed as the now infamous Obama skewering that happened last Spring in the midst of the Democratic primaries, but it’s hardly a cakewalk for Palin either. You’ll recall that shortly after that original SNL skit picked fun at the MSM for giving Obama a free ride, it was Jeremiah Wright-24/7 for the next 8 weeks. Whether this has the same effect as the earlier sketch, and convinces the MSM to “grow a pair” as relates to Palin remains to be seen.
Oddly enough, although “the media” is lauding this sketch, it’s most important statement (“grow a pair”) has gotten zero play.
BTW, how funny is it to keep watching “the media” talk about how “the media” needs to be more aggressive in dealing with Palin. I’ve heard the same nonsense repeated on Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, and all the Sunday Morning shows.
Enough already. You guys are the media. Do something.
Question: Is the media giving Sarah Palin a free pass? Are they doing so because she’s a white woman, because she’s new, or because they don’t know how to deal with her?
Filed under: Go Sit Down, People I Strongly Dislike, PoliTricks as Usual, TeeVee Sux, What A DoucheBag, White Men Gone Wild
You know em’, you hate em’. They’re the scourge of the cable news world. That’s right, party people, I’m talkin’ bout’ dem’ cable news show hosts.
The Big Three Cable news outlets fall into predictable roles. Fox News is clearly reading White House Talking Points. MSNBC has the double-douchbag lineup with bloviators Keith Olbermann, and Chris Matthews, two guys who probably go to bed every night dreaming about Obama, only to awake to sticky sheets. CNN wants to pull off the illusion of being on some mythical “middle ground”, but that’s just code for “hey, we’re lightweights, we just can’t do any better“.
Yet, since TeeVee doesn’t afford us the luxury of more channels for a broader array of opinions (especially those of minorities and Independents), we’re pretty much capped out at listening to the same blowhards pretend-fighting with each other every night. As if we’re not wise enough to know that these folks leave to studio and go to the same scrip clubs cocktail parties the moment the cameras go dim.
Cable news’ lousy and predictable format is a large part of why the country’s view of politricks is so messed up. They weild an undue amount of influence, considering the fact that they seldom actually break a news story, as opposed to regurgitating what’s in the newspapers. They all have agendas, namely to keep their jobs by saying what they’re paid to appear and say. They often spout completely correct information repeatedly, knowing that after the 100th time, even the savviest viewer begins to second guess what they already know. And at their worse, these folks are some of the most vile, disgusting individuals seen on the tube since Faces Of Death.[1]
Next week’s poll is all about choosing the King Of All D-Bag Cable News Show Personalities. Here’s my list of nominees. If you see some glaring omissions, add em’ you know where.
Pat Buchanan [MSNBC] – Let’s call a spade a spade. Pat, despite occasional bouts of honesty, is little more than a tool for ole timey Southern racist propaganda. Nobody will call him on this, because, well, he’s playing his role. And playing it well might I add.
Glenn Beck [Headline News] – Beck, owner of a collection of chins that would make Karl Rove proud, doesn’t get as much acclaim as his mentor Sean Hannity, but he’s just as reviling. His smarmy, holier than thou demeanor makes me wish he’d have an unfortunate falafel incident.
Bill O’Reilly [Fox News] – Speaking of falafel… seriously, how did Bill-O manage to dodge this bullet and still spout his hateful brand of sensationalist drivel another 4 years? I just don’t get it.
The Cast of Fox & Friends [Fox News... duh] – Would you like some Scrawberry HaterAde™ with your breakfast? You know where to look.
Lou Dobbs [CNN] – Did you know that like King Of The Hill star Bobby Hill, whom Lou looks like a grownup version of, Dobbs is the son of a real-life Texas propane salesman? Did you also know that despite his hatred of all things Mexican, Lou is actually married to a Latina? No seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up.
Campbell Brown [CNN] – More of a hostess than an actual pundit, but come on’. Exactly who does this serial lightweight have incriminating photos of? For someone who’s supposed to be an objective moderator, she lets guests run over her more than anyone this side of Jeff Johnson.
Laura Ingraham [Fox News] – If you don’t have nothin’ nice to say…
Juan Williams [Fox News] – …your mama n’em taught you the rest.
Chris Matthews [MSNBC] – Look, I’m prObama myself. Anyone who reads this site knows that. Still, it’s pretty dishonest, and borderline maniacal to act as if everything the man does is kissed with the lips of The Messiah. Matthews pretty much deep-sixes any semblance of credibility by turning his show into a nightly Obama pep rally. Sure, it’s fun to occasionally watch him rip a guest to shreds, but those instances are few and far between. More often than not, Hardball is little more than a Democratic Circle Jerk. Who the hell wants to watch that nonsense?
Sean Hannity [Fox News] – Boy, I could say so much, but bandwidth is so precious. Why not just watch this clip and get reacquainted with your lunch?
Keith Olbermann [MSNBC] – Of all the blowhards on cable, Olbermann is perhaps the worst. While I do indeed like his “tell it like it is” approach to stating his opinion, his over the top “smarter than though” smarminess eclipses even that of Hannity and Beck, which is no small feat. If dude wants to be seen as a serious journalist (ha ha), not some two bit ESPN refugee, he’ll figure out that being the smartest guy in the class isn’t always something you wanna throw in others faces.
Question: You got any more Cable News Personalities to add to next week’s poll?
[1] Please tell me ya’ll remember these VHS tapes from the 80′s.
Filed under: TeeVee Sux
So, BET took the obligatory stab at actual news programming yet again, with last week’s premiere of The Truth With Jeff Johnson. If The Truth With Jeff Johnson sounds more like some Minneapolis 80′s R&B/funk band to you than a legit news show, you’re not alone.
Some of you wonder why I’m so hard on BET and TVOne. I hate them, because I want so badly to love them. In a year when race has never been more at the forefront, nor more poorly discussed by the MSM, it’s literally painful to have to watch a historic candidacy play out nightly on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News. They just get soooo much soooo wrong, and honestly, the only place where I hear my PoV echoed is in the blogosphere and on Syndication One. I suppose this should be sufficient enough, and if you told me I should just stop while I’m ahead, I couldn’t really disagree with you.
Still, both stations are such a colossal waste. I don’t have a problem with music videos (in BET’s case), or bourgeois “lifestyle programming” (TVOne). These programs aren’t made for me, and don’t appeal to me, which is just fine. But between the hundreds of hours of programming each of these stations provided weekly, there’s exactly zero content that informs. [1] Zilch. Zero. Nada. I understand their mantras of providing entertainment. Nothing wrong with that. But please, give us something more.
BET once, long ago did have news programming. In the 80′s and 90′s, there was the BET Nightly News that aired around, well, news time. The 6pm newscast was relatively informative, and was usually capped off by insightful commentary by Washington Post columnist Courtland Milloy. There was also A Conversation With Ed Gordon, The Bev Smith Show, Lead Story, the tween oriented Teen Summitt, and eventually BET Tonight With Tavis Smiley.
I’m not sayin’ this was a 24/7 news network, but it was sufficient.
With the sellout sale of BT to Viacom in 2000 though, things began to predictably shift. BET, already running on a shoestring budget, one by one started dropping these news programs in favor of more videos and reality shows, culminating in the cancellation of an already scaled back BET News, then featuring Jacque Reid and airing at 11pm. Lately, their only “news” programming has been the informative, but poorly scheduled (and recently canned) Meet The Faith. TVOne has never even bothered trying in their brief infancy.
So, I’ve been bellyaching for months about why these stations can’t offer any programming, and lo and behold, BET unveiled The Truth With Jeff Johnson the other night. The premise (real news) is promising, but results are ho hum at best.
The first problem is (surprise) the scheduling. Why in the ham sammich you put on a “news” program at 11pm on a Friday night is beyond me. Another big problem is the duration. Trying to cram substantive discussion into a 21 minute block is too little time. The final problem is Johnson himself.
With a very busy set, it’s clear the show is trying to rip off roundtable formats like Real Time With Bill Maher. This isn’t necessarily a problem, but Jeff Johnson is no Bill Maher (whom I don’t really care for either). The show seems to take on three topics, which is simply too much for a program this short. Friday’s debut featured Fox News’ Angela McGlowan, BETJ’s Keith Boykin, and some Harvard educated R&B singer whose name escapes me, but who added nothing of value to the discussion. They talked (repeatedly over each other might I add) about racial issues dogging the Presidential campaign, then quickly shifted gears (and guests) to talk about the recent deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes.
There was a very racially mixed live studio audience that was seldom heard, but in classic Comic View fashion, seen frequently. It appeared that they were emphatically trying to show you there were white folks in the studio audience, as if to make some point about the show’s universal appeal. We all know these are nothing more than professional extras using the show for their resumes. The cumulative result was a gaggle of too many voices and too many topics for a half-hour show.
In case you can’t tell, I badly want this to work out for BET. But something tells me it won’t, and that BET doesn’t even care if it does. By throwing out a neophyte host, a lazy format, and a graveyard time slot, it’s clear BET just wants to put the show on just to say they’re providing some news programming to get people like me off their back. If they really wanted to show to succeed, they’d make it an hour long and throw it on at 8pm on a weeknight. It’s not like there’s anything else of value showing in those timeslots. What’s it gonna pre-empt? Another rerun of Hell Date? More College Hill? The 900th airing of Holiday Heart? [2]
Johnson, in all honesty, isn’t too bad. He clearly works for BET’s key demo, and just needs more seasoning. So, I’ll lay off him for now.
In short, since I’m desperate and TeeVee Sux, I’ll probably add The Truth to my Tivo Season Pass anyway. But something tells me that unless there’s a format change, this goose is cooked the moment the Fall season rolls around.
Good luck, Jeff. You’ll need it.
Question: Do you think BET even cares if this show works out? Have you seen The Truth With Jeff Johnson? Weren’t they signed to Prince’s record label for awhile in the late 80′s?
The Truth With Jeff Johnson Official Website [BET.com]
[1] Actually, TVOne’s Singletary Says isn’t bad at all. And truth be told, I pickup the occasional BBQ tip from G. Garvin.
[2] …which is a truly awful film. I kept waiting for Bokeem Woodbine to show up…
Unnnggghhhh!!!
I hate it when I (seemingly) get something wrong. But never let it be said that AB can’t publicly admit when he screws up. Heck, I’m married to a black woman. Admitting wrongdoing is a survival mechanism.
Apparently, while I was busy writing Master P’s career obituary the other day, he was busy starting a BET-alternative apparently already airing on DirecTV.
Percy Miller (formerly Master P) announces the launch of Better Black Television (BBTV) a family friendly network that will provide positive content for a black and brown culture that will appeal to all races with a goal to bring people of color a choice when turning on their television.The content on the channel will contain a wide arrangement from health and fitness, animation, financial planning, reality TV, sitcoms, dramas, movies, responsible hip-hop music and videos, politics, sports and entertainment news, educational children’s shows as well as teen and family programming. Production has begun and will be based out of California, New York, Louisiana and Florida. In addition, BBTV is in the process of purchasing local cable channel affiliates across the country.
I don’t know much about BetterBlackTV, and would have never heard of it if a reader hadn’t sent me a note about it. But apparently, for those with DirecTV, the station is available for purchase, and airs on channel 578. If you turn to the channel, it tells you to call for purchasing info. No idea how much this costs, but I figured I’d throw it out there if ya’ll are interested.
The programming seemed like a mix between the bourgeois sensibilities of TVOne, and the teen-oriented fare of BET. In fact, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear this was some revamped version of Willie E. Gary’s great idea with poor execution, the belated Black Family Television, originally known as MBC.
I’m not sure how much this station costs monthly, and my TV time is pretty limited with everything on my plate now, but I guess I should give Master P, oops, P. Miller, props for actually trying to provide an alternative.
Well done, Percy.
Question: Have you heard anything about this station? Does the programming sound interesting?
Better Black Television (BBTV) Set to Launch Worldwide in 2009 [MSNBC]
BetterBlack TV Official Website
Filed under: AvB MultiMedia Expose, Crap Music, Nigga Nonsense, Raise Your Own Damn Kids, TeeVee Sux
So, I’m flipping through the channels the other day, and I notice a gap-toothed blast from the past on VH1.
That’s right, Uncle Luke, aka: Luke Skywalker, pka: Captain D*ck, gov’t name Luther Campbell has a new reality show, Luke’s Parental Advisory. That in and of itself isn’t really news. What is news, is that his show is just the latest in a line of like-minded fish-out-of-water “unscripted sitcoms” about Black dads.
First there was A&E’s foray into Negro Nonsense, the shortlived trainwreck, Being Bobby Brown.
Then there was Run’s House, which is wildly popular for reasons far beyond my comprehension.
Then there was the decidedly low brow Snoop Dogg’s Fatherhood.
And then Irv Gotti, who isn’t even really all that popular, somehow got a show as well. Unlike the others, Gotti’s Way seemed to actually be transparent. It dealt not with some fantasy vision of Pampers and Air Jordans fatherhood, but rather the reality of bad decisions (in this case, adultery) and how they effect one’s spouse and kids.
I peeped an episode of this while in the gym (the trainer elliptical TV only has 8 stations, I didn’t have much choice). The first episode I saw was kinda interesting, but it got boring pretty quickly.
And then there’s the always obnoxious Neon Deion Sanders and his wife’s show, Deion & Pilar: PrimeTime Love. Wake me when it’s over.
I guess the culumative effect of all these shows in a mixed bag. While it’s good to see Black men taking care of their kids and in most cases married, the ancillary plots of sex, misogny, and extramartial affairs that lurk behind the scenes in each show (with the exception of Run’s House, to my best knowledge) somewhat ruin the vibe. Yeah, I know that sorta stuff does also occur in real-life, unscripted reality, but does it really need to be broadcast?
Everday life for most Black Husbands and Dads I know is hardly exciting. It’s a nonstop cavalcade of packing lunches, reading stories, bathtime, teachable moments, gray hairs, chauffering to activities, and oh yeah, managing to slip in some one-on-one time with the wife as well.
Simply put, being a reasonably good husband and reasonably responsible Dad looks pretty darned square in real-life, unscripted reality. So it’s no surprise that these shows choose the most far-out there, screwed up individuals to give shows to. This is all about ratings after all, but at what expense?
Part of me wants badly to like these shows, if for no better reason than the fact that they show that some Black men actually do get married to the women they impregnate. I mean, there has to be something good about that, right? And with the decline of the Black Sitcom, these seem to be about the only images of Black men as hubands and Dads on TV. Seriously, besides the brilliant Everybody Hates Chris, is there a Black Dad anywhere on non-reality TV nowadays?
But by simply repackaging old-school stereotypes and Negro dysfunction as new-school versions of Leave It To Beaver, this latest series of reality shows has me wistful for Cliff Huxtable. Say what you want about shows like The Cosby Show, Family Matters, and Good Times, but at least I didn’t cringe when I peeped them. Cliff Huxtable never had to explain to his kids why there was a stripper pole in the basement. James Evans couldn’t always pay the rent on time, but you’d never see him wiping a “doody bubble” out of Florida’s butt on TV. And Carl Winslow may have had this issues, but… well, okay, let’s stop while we’re ahead.
Some may see these shows as progress, but honestly, I’m indifferent. We’ve come a long way since the days of “hurry up and come here, colored man on the TV”. But when I peep the promo for Luke’s Parental Advisory, I’m just reminded of how much further we’ve got left to go.
Question: What do you think of this new fad in Black family reality shows? Do these shows actually improve the image of Black fathers/husbands, worsen the image, or not make a darned bit of difference? Do you watch any of them? Can you believe that the man responsible for “Pop That Coochie” and “Me So Horny” has a show about parenthood?
Filed under: AvB Instant Classics, Drive-By Activism, Judge Joe Brown Says : "DO BETTER.", Knee-Grow Please, Nigga Nonsense, Raise Your Own Damn Kids, TeeVee Sux, That Sh*t Is Racist
[Editor's Note: This one's a doozy! You're probably not going to agree with me, and you're certainly entitled so your opinion. But read with an open mind if nothing else. Then flame me.]
Every month or so, there seems to be some sorta televised “Townhall Discussion on The State Of Black America”. BET always is airing something or another about hip-hop’s effect on black kids. T(r)avis Smiley’s got his annual State Of The Black Union. And now, not to be outdone, CNN is diving headfirst into the sewer of Negro Dysfunction with it’s own series, entitled Black In America.
The prelude to this series aired last weekend. It was your typical townhall discussion about how screwed up black folks (particularly men) are, and took place in New Orleans, the new Ground Zero for Negro Intellectualism. On the panel were the usual suspects: an academic (Cornell West in that same damn black suit), a preacher (TD Jakes), an entertainer (Tom Joyner), a journalist (Ed Gordon), and the token woman (the always brilliant Julianne Malveaux, spoken over repeatedly) to round out the bunch. And as expected, the show was little more than a feelgood hour of SoundByte Olympics™. Lots of $5 words were bandied about. Black men were singled out as the Root Of All Negro Evil. White folks and “the system” were blamed. And at the end of the 90 minute discussion, I walked away with no greater insight into exactly what the solutions are.
Like every other panel discussion, this one delved headfirst into everything that’s wrong with black men. They don’t want to get married. They make babies and don’t support them. They get locked up and bring home AIDS. They don’t take responsibility for what they create. Blah, blah, blah.
These are all very valid points, and I’d be the last one to catch feelings, given the fact that I more or less advocate the very same thing here daily. There is little doubt that we as black men need to get our collective sh*t together. This is an indisputable fact. No denying it. You won’t hear any sorts of denials of that on this site. No siree Bob.
But what about the other side of the equation?
I know I’ll probably lose some female readers here, but it needs to be brought (BRING IT!!) so I can’t hold my tongue any longer. How about somebody on one of these shows challenges Black Women to make smarter, less emotion-driven decisions about whom they give the nookie to?
Yes, there are, have always been, and shall always be triflin’ men (Negroes or otherwise). But blaming them for every societal ill misses the fact that it takes two to tango. Two to lay down and make a baby. Two to get married. Two to maintain a healthy marriage. Two to run a household. Two to make a family, at least as defined by the standard everyone seems to advocate.
By just continually calling out black men, yet treating women as perpetual victims, you’re missing a huge chunk of that whole “shared responsibility” thing. Women are on average vastly smarter than men, but they sometimes choose to see what they want to see. Women have a far greater gift of discernment when it comes to relationships. They remember things better. So why let them off the hook if they’re so much better equipped when it comes to sniffing out B.S.?
Let’s keep it 100, ladies. You know you can tell if the Negro is sorry from the moment you meet him. You know that if he’s already got three babies by five women, chances are you’re just gonna become another harrowing statistic. You know that if he’s got a crime record longer than Manute Bol, he is prolly not gonna be able to hold down a 9-to-5. You know that is he looks like a playa, walks like a playa, and talks like a playa, chances are he’s a sorry, triflin’ assed Negro. This is all common sense, yet so many women overlook this glaring evidence when it comes to choosing mates.
Yes, I know some men lie. Some of us are exceptionally good at doing so. But women are always smarter. They always know what’s up. They just choose to see what they want to see.
Men in general do about 75% of what we do to attract the opposite sex. Wack Niggas do about 110% of what they do to attract the opposite sex. Wack Niggas will not evolve as long as they’re rewarded (with cookies) for being Wack Niggas. This isn’t too complex an equation, ladies.
In short, stop giving your cookies to Wack Niggas!!![1]
Think about it, Barack Obama got both applauded (by me) and reamed (by others) for challenging Black Men to step up during his recent Father’s Day speech. This was completely necessary, and any dude who caught feelings about this needs to seriously check himself. But cunning as Barry is, there’s no way in Holy Hades that Beige Negro would even remotely consider pulling such a stunt on Mother’s Day. You know this and I know this. Because you just don’t talk about nobody’s Mama, and most Black women will be somebody’s Mama during the course of their lifetimes. But that’s a part of the problem that these shows, and black culture in general, seem to ignore for some odd reason.
Here’s some real solutions for Black America.
If there’s one thing black folks are good for, it’s talking. Fixing? Uhhh, not so much. And shows like this, which seem to be little more than Intellectual Masturbation™ really trouble me, because for all the brains and fame these panels usually include, there’s seldom, if ever any definitive takeaways for the audiences to implement. There’s just lots of good “talkin”, lots of applause, and plenty more questions than answers. And as a result, we stay losing.
Nope, no solutions. Just plenty of pontificators “gettin’ off”, thus the photo above, in case you were looking for context.
So, I prolly won’t be doing any recaps of CNN’s Black In America, because I’ve frankly got better things to do, like being a husband and father and generally making sure I’m more of the solution than the problem. And who the hell wants to sit around watching more and more bad news about Black folks? Shouldn’t any black person with a brain already know most of this stuff by now? Aren’t Black people more or less born knowing this stuff? So since we’re putting our worst foot forward, I wonder exactly whom this show is for? It’s clearly not to educate, inform, or challenge Black America to grow. So it must be for White America to watch, and gawk at, and further ingrain the same negative stereotypes about Negro life in America.
Sorry, but I can’t bother watching any more of this crap until we can be totally honest about the issues that plague Black America, not just pandering to see who can get the loudest applause.
I hope that Emmy was worth it, Mrs. O’Brien.[2]
Question: Did I just lose half of female AverageNation™? Were my points about the victimization of Black women anywhere in the ballpark, or is AB.com just a piece of sexist propaganda? Did you watch Black In America? Did it “need to be brought?”
CNN Presents: Black In America [CNN.com]
[1] I hate using that word, but sometimes it’s the only one that’s appropriate. Forgive me if you’re as squeamish about this sorta thing as I am.
[2] BTW, I didn’t even watch this crap, but I told ya’ll about Soledad “color-me-mine” O’Brien months ago. But you ain’t wanna hear me though. Now ya’ll mad. Hmmmm.
